Friday, May 1, 2009

A man in a boy's body....

I am a mother of boys. I am a mother of boys. I am a mother of boys. Maybe I should emphasize the word in bold that I mean to stress....I am a MOTHER of boys. Note: I am not trying to emphasize that I have many BOYS...because believe me I KNOW THAT! :D But, rather...I am trying to put emphasis on ME. I am a woman...once a girl...forever a female...but alas...a mother. Why do I tell you this? Because we are hitting puberty around here with boy #1 and it is hitting me HARD that I have NO clue what I am doing. I am a WOMAN, a MOTHER, a female for stinkin' sakes! I absolutely DO NOT get a boy's brain. Pah-leeze...I do not even get my husband's brain most of the am I supposed to get a boy's?

I mean, the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy is NOT funny. It is based mainly in poop, pee, and boogers...or things exploding. When a boy begins a sentence with: "Wouldn't it be funny if..." the answer, at least for my female mind is, "NO!" I don't even have to hear the rest of the sentence! And a boy is like a large breed puppy. You know the kind with the HUGE paws on a small body who has ZERO control of his limbs? The one who jumps on you at full force but doesn't know his own strength as he lovingly knocks you to the floor? that. A pre-teen boy hurts everyone, including himself, constantly for having NO CLUE about his own body.

But, here is the dilemma. Inside that bungling boy is a man very much wanting to get out. And as his mother I am supposed to help bring that man out. And that boy wants respect. When he tells a dumb joke or a REALLY long silly story...he wants (no, make that needs) me to laugh. And when he hurts himself or me or his brothers accidentally, he needs me to look the other way and not humiliate him for it. And when he cries (yes, boys do this) he needs me to hug him and not press him for words. After all, he is still a boy...until the man comes out. But, I fail so often. I tend to give that, "What were you thinking?" look far too often. I am the first female he has a relationship with. I want to model how to treat a woman. I want to model how a woman should treat him. Ugh. What pressure. Six sets of eyes looking at me. Oh Lord, I am definitely going to need lots of grace here. And lots of their forgiveness. But Lord, make them wholly Yours...despite me....and if I could but ask one thing more... Lord...make them wholly Yours sometimes because of me.


Stacy Brown said...

a ok Grant I love you I heard Tim hawkins is comeing in 4 days are you excited??? and we might come to see you and him bye love,Jordan

ftmomma said...

I love this post. It affirms much of what I am thinking these days about what in the world is it going to be like when we add more testosterone into the picture with our oldest - yikes! He's already like that big puppy! It is funny because I have been thinking yesterday and today about asking you if your family has read "Raising a Modern Day Knight" by Robert Lewis. It makes me think of you not only because you have boys but because it is a very practical book and I remember you liking that sort of "yes but how" stuff when a concept is being taught. If that makes any sense. It is a GOOD book in terms of ways to Biblically honor a son's transition to manhood. Anyway Grant is blessed to have a mom who cares about him the way you do. As you've told me we moms have our good days and bad, but regardless of the little things overall he will know how much you have cared for his heart and sought the best for him. Thanks for sharing this post and we love and miss you!