SO...until I felt moved to blog about a HAPPY thing, I chose not to blog! Believe me, these past few months have been more hard than happy but when God puts a happy ending on things...as He usually does, it hardly matters what all those hard days were about! His faithfulness to me and to my family is nothing short of amazing. Awe inspiring even!
One reason that I like to write when I am struggling is because I know there is always a chance you, my reader, are struggling in that area too. I am a BIG believer in sharing our sufferings. They are so much less powerful when shared. The minute I open my mouth to a friend or a group of friends and share a struggle and someone in that group says, "me too..." I am somehow healed through that. Companionship in suffering. Knowing that Satan can no longer condemn me by saying, "you are a mess and no one else is as messed up as you." He is immediately silenced by the truth that my sin, my struggle is common. And sometimes common feels downright wonderful! But I tread a fine line when all I do is share my struggles or sufferings. Pretty soon....I look miserable and unhappy. I look a little too real, if that is possible. People are always making judgements. If I say I am tired (or if, heaven forbid, I LOOK tired) people pity me and say, "Her life is wearing her out poor thing." If I talk about how my husband and I are struggling or my kids make me nuts...before you know it people have surmised that my marriage is failing and I must have too many children because I cannot handle them. SO while I seek to be real...I must remember that REAL people are reading this and summing me up. And I want my sum total to be JOY! Paul says rejoice in any situation no matter the circumstances. I will therefore try to balance the sharing of struggles (because I still feel that matters) with the sharing of JOY! I do have both and if I am growing in the Lord...I will have them simultaneously!
Let's face it though...motherhood is HARD WORK! And trying to keep my physical body in check is a HARD thing. And being a wife is a HARD thing. And loving the Lord the way I want to love Him and know Him can be HARD work...well, hard in the sense that it requires time and discipline, like any other relationship I care to nurture. But the Lord sweetly sent me these words this week that He spoke to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 30:11 (oh please go and read the whole chapter...it is so good):
"For this commandment which I command to you today is not too difficult for you, nor is it out of reach."
And I was reminded by Oswald Chambers in "My Utmost for His Highest" (which I LOVE and highly recommend):
"If you make a god out of your best moments, you will find that God will fade out of your life, never to return until you are obedient in the work He has placed closest to you, and until you have learned not to be obsessed with those exceptional moments He has given you."(emphasis mine)
In other words, or in MY words I should say, if I focus on those times when I felt so near to God and so fresh with His calling and I neglect or worse, despise the work He has placed closest to me (my family), He will be gone from my life. Not as in salvation...but as in doing any new thing. Chambers is SO good to remind me that the "drudgery," as he calls it, of my life is the place where God is making me and molding me to be like Him. The mountain top is refreshment but it is NOT the gift of my life. My life is His gift. SO...that is where I am right now. Learning to complain less and embrace more. What I do is hard. But I can think of no other earthly thing at which I'd rather be working so hard. God bless you as you work hard too! ~M.