Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Some days you want to kick the cat...and today is one of them

Sometimes when you write a blog it is so terribly easy and tempting to make everything in your life seem so good, so wise, so godly. It happens quite innocently actually. You only feel like blogging when life is good. OR maybe you feel like blogging when life stinks royally but you refrain so as not to come off sounding...um...sinful. Which ain't all that bad of a thing...not wanting to be sinful and all. :) But then there are days where:

  • the stomach flu has visited your family for the second time in three weeks. And the second time it hit twice as hard and dirtied twice as many sheets.
  • and when said stomach flu came through the second time and your carelessly placed bottle of Clorox Clean-up...yeah, the stuff with the real bleach in it- gets picked up by your two year old. And that two year old takes it and sprays the entire bathroom vanity and mirror and his clothes with it in the process. And then takes it in his bedroom and sprays his dresser with it....which happens to have a drawer cracked open and he ruins at least 4 articles of clothing. And to add insult to injury....your seven year old WATCHED it all unfold.
  • your husband has been gone for five days and you barely slept at night thanks to the aforementioned stomach flu and the fact that you don't feel safe in your own home when he is gone.
  • homeschooling your children makes you crazy. Being responsible for yet one more aspect of their health and well being makes you want to curl up in the fetal position and cry.
  • you can hear all of your children sniffling, signaling a round of colds coming to the family.
  • you can barely afford to put gas in your van or buy the groceries you need after you pay the bills...let alone pay a sitter or go out on a date so that you can maintain some form of sanity and relationship with your husband.
  • the stomach flu made it so you can't go to your financial class so that you can have enough money to pay your bills AND buy groceries and gas.
  • you have been away with your husband overnight once in five years and that reality alone makes you want to run away.
  • you have lived in a place for five years and still are visiting churches. And now when you think of Sunday you get a giant knot in your stomach instead of that joy you used to have.
  • doing the same drudgery seems like it just might kill you.
  • you think, "this is NOT the life I signed up for."
  • you put your kids to bed and feel you FAILED...capital F. You yelled, you pouted, you slammed things....you acted...sinful.
  • you failed at your diet AGAIN.
  • and you wake up the next day...and there it all is...again.

SO, you see....some days...STINK. Some WEEKS stink. And I could end this blog with the up note...you know, the one where spirituality shows up and reminds you how you will miss this someday (BLEH...I will NOT miss some of this) or how God is so good or how blessed you are to have such a great family. But, some days...you want to kick the cat. And that's how today feels.


godzgaljen said...

Love you friend! I've had a few of these months lately!

The McElhenys said...

I totally appreciate you sharing reality in your writing. And I hope tomorrow is a better day!

The McElhenys said...

why do we suddenly show up as the McElhenys?.... weird.

Love you! - Beth

Stacy Brown said...

Sounds absolutely crazy my friend,
I have those days, weeks, etc, as well.....pray that all sickness leaves your family and that health, sanity and a date night returns very soon!

Beck Family said...

This is terrible because all I can think is... kick it for me too! Can't wait to get the uphill again, you know the one on the roller coaster of life where you are climbing up the hill feeling like you want to laugh and so much joy inside you feels like busting open until you come crashing on the downhill. Yeah, can't wait for the uphill for you.
Love you, Chelle